That’s impossible!!

I get this type of call at LEAST once a day and they’re hands down my least favourite call. This was probably the worst. I work for an ISP with usage caps. I’ll skip the intro bits but basically customer called in because his usage went from about 10GB per month to over 100GB per month. This has been happening for about 6 months now.

Me: Well let’s take a look and see what we can do. Now I can’t track what website or device may have caused it myself. Has anything changed on your end such as usage habits, a child moving back home etc?

Idiot Customer: No nothing has changed. Everything is EXACTLY the same. Your modem is malfunctioning and I demand compensation!!!

Me: (compensation for what????? We don’t even charge for going over, we just throttle) I’m sorry sir but we don’t compensate just because you’re using more data. We can always bump up your package though.

IC: Ya of course you want me to pay you more money. Typical. You guys are unbelievable. I’m gonna cancel as soon as I find something better.

Me: I’m sorry to hear that sir but from your stats it looks like your modem is functioning correctly so there’s really not much else we can do. I can help you go through your devices and make sure they’re not auto updating and help turn down video quality.

IC: I’m not doing none of that. This stupid SmartTV is too confusing. Shouldn’t have even bought the damn thing.

Me: …when did you buy it?

IC: I don’t fuckin know, 6 or 7 months ago. What’s it matter?

Me: Sir… I can almost guarantee you that’s what’s causing your usage to increase. Do you stream on the TV?

IC: Well the wife watches a lot of Netflix.

Me: Mhmm and did you do any of that before you got the TV?

IC: No

Me: That’s definitely what’s causing it. Netflix uses about 1-3GB/hr depending on video quality. If you’re going to keep using it as much as you are you should really increase your package.

IC: WHAT? That’s impossible!! I refuse to believe that TV uses 100GB a month!!!!

Me: Well I have one and I use over 1000GB a month sir.

IC: Well that’s wrong. No. You people are making it go up on purpose to get more money out of me.

(EVERYONE thinks this. NO ONE can FATHOM the idea that your usage habits can change for a number of reasons, sometimes without you even noticing. And when we explain this to them no one ever fuckin believes us)

Me: Sir I can assure you we’re not. Would you like to increase your package?

IC: NO!! This is highway robbery!!

Me: Then is there anything else I can help you with?

IC: I guess not since you haven’t fuckin helped me thus far!!

Me: Thanks for calling and have a great day!!!

I hate these calls. People who don’t understand how the internet works and refuse to be taught how should be quarantined on their own little island.

I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about paying for what you use. You stream Netflix all day then you need to bump up your fucking package. If you drive your car 10 times as far as you normally do every day you wouldn’t expect your gas cost to stay the same!!!

submitted by /u/LilacPenny
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One of the few times I decided to tell a customer what I thought about their situation.

Yes Ma’am, They Do Need That…